In a broad sense, a lady is not a social status, but rather a manner of behaviour and a way of
thinking. To become a well-mannered, erudite and elegant lady – is it not the worthiest goal for a young female?
Where do you start? How to become a real lady and impress new friends with refinement,
endurance and resourcefulness? We will touch on this and many other things in the articles, which will be dedicated to the world of beauty and etiquette. My name is Kristina Angel’, I’m a life coach, psychologist and trainer of international etiquette.
First of all, it is worth pondering on qualities which
intelligent females possess, and then develop a plan, change behaviour and a way of thinking properly. It is not really just about looking like an aristocrat in the eyes of others, such as having a decent outfit, being able to support unhurried intellectual conversations and manage silverware at the dinner – all of it will easily evaporate in the first non-standard or crisis situation. You need to rebuild yourself psychologically and be prepared for a daily work.
In this article I will share a brief excerpt of the basic rules you will have to follow along the
journey of becoming a lady, starting from physical appearance and leading to behaviour in the society.
o Appearance
Must always be flawless. Your face, skin,
hair, figure should be in a perfect condition – work
out to maintain your shape, hold you posture at every times. And yes – although your physical condition is truly important, your outfit matters a lot, but your clothing should not necessarily be branded and trendy.
As such, clothing should:
1. Be harmonious – all the detail should be considered, even hairpins and earrings must not break out of the style of the costume.
2. Fit the situation – business style at work, romantic at a date, but not vice versa.
3. Be neat and clean, shoes and bag should particularly be of good quality.
4. Be feminine – even jeans are bound to look accurate, not ruthlessly crumpled, torn and mopped.
On top of it, home clothing should be clean and elegant. At the same time, a real lady:
1. Wears only something which emphasizes her perfections and hides flaws.
2. Escapes excessive sexuality in clothing (no very short skirts, leopard colours, transparent and overly tight clothing)
3. Has light and elegant makeup, which highlights the favourable features of the face.
o Behaviour
If you decide to be a lady, you should develop
proper manners. Namely:
1. Control your temper and emotions – you don’t want to laugh loudly, swear, break your speech.
2. Control yourself – even at home kitchen, make sure you behave yourself as if you were in front of a TV audience (within due limits, obviously).
3. Keep distance – no familiarity please, no excessive details about your life.
4. Use a light touch – no sharpness in conversations, no excessive judgments about people around. Don’t try to look smarter, taller and better vs. everyone else.
5. Speak seamlessly, but don’t correct others’ speech.
6. Do not create a situation which would disturb your public reputation – no toothpicks in public, please, no excessive drinking, hair and makeup adjustments.
7. Be always on time or maximum 10 minutes late. And, of course, never wait for more than 10 minutes yourself.
8. Maintain order – in family, at home, at work, elsewhere.
9. Have diverse interests.
o Manners in society
Same basic principles apply to the lady’s manners in society:
1. Be modest – but make sure you give attention to everyone you are dealing with, at least a couple of words would be sufficient.
2. Be social – sociability is a very crucial skill which a lady has to be on top of. Make sure you develop this skill – you don’t have to pretend if you are naturally reserved, just be yourself.
3. Respect your partner – if accompanied by a gentleman, a lady would prefer to stay on the second stage. Don’t position yourself as leader vs. your partner in public.
4. Explore horizons – it will help you support conversations with many different people around. Develop and enrich your soul with books, theatres, cinemas, exhibitions, new friends with various interests.
5. Identify your hobbies – not only it is good for you, but it also helps you be an interesting partner.
Good luck on the challenging path of becoming a real lady!
Kristina Angel’,
life coach, psychologist and trainer of international etiquette.
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